A Poem To Dad

Today, I dedicate a special poem to you my Dad! Because it is too emotional and it reflects a painful truth, I was a bit hesitant about posting it. At the same time, I cannot but honor the man who went out of his way just to make his family live a life where they had everything they asked for. Father’s Day presented me with this occasion where I grabbed my chance to voice his attritubes to the world and simply glorify his presence amongst us!

No matter what life brings along,

To me you are still a hero and strong.

You defy your sickness and disease,

As you’ll always be the one with expertise!

I have always looked up to you with admiration,

You as the leader, back in Badanah station.

Filled with life and goodness,

Served and healed patients with sureness.

Your generosity was devoured by everyone,

From the nearest people and as far as the sun.

Everyone looked up to you –

Some with envy and some with abjure!

Some even took advantage of that,

Though you knew, and forgave with all your heart.

I have always felt proud and fiery,

To have you and call you my daddy…

The distances between us have formed a gap –

Me with my busy life and you stuck in a trap.

It breaks my heart to be far away,

Alas! I wish there was a better way…

Like you, one day we will age too

There is nothing that we could do.

So I feel lost and at dismay

As the months drift away.

This morning I clasped my hands,

And dreamt of far away lands:

Lands of pure Love, Health, and Peace,

A place where we could all just be…

On father’s day I write to you,

Not only to say that I love you,

But to give you strength and conviction,

To brighten your day with glorification.

How To Get Dads More Involved?

It is challenging to encourage Dads’ involvement, yet the society these days is working hard towards that goal. Below are a few steps that might help achieve it:

1. The Parents

Mom and dad should have a good relationship. Children need their parents to have a stable and close relationship more than anything. This stability sets the solid foundation to a successful parenting.

2. Ask for Help

Moms please ask your husbands for help. They need guidance and they heavily rely on you to assist them. After all, it is always better when the work is done side by side. Don’t wait for him to ask you as he would not know how tired and frustrated you feel.

3. Fun Activities

Every now and then it is essential that dads go out with the children – on their own – and enjoy some fun activities together. This helps in having the children see their dads in a new perspective which also helps in strengthening the bond between them.

4. Boring Routine

Divide the routine and boring duties, like showering and getting ready to school, where each parent has equal responsibilities. By doing so, both parents are saved from any unnecessary stress.

5. Communication

Discuss and communicate often. Once you agree on a variety of parenting methods, it becomes easier to deal with certain unexpected issues.

6. Gratitude

Show your gratitude for the partnership you have. Humans love to be praised and cared for. A simple thank you makes wonders.

7. One Message from Both

Moms and dads alike should send one message to their children and not opposing ones. Children are very smart and would continue to manipulate one parent against the other in order to get what they want! Once they realise that both parents have the same response, it is more likely they accept the decision taken.

8. Support

Be honest about how you feel towards the whole parenting procedure. It is very normal to have fears and worries. Once you talk about it with your partners, you will get the support you need. Who else would actually understand the situation more than your mate?

Parenting is one of the most beautiful yet challenging experience. It brings so many emotions that are bombarding and overwhelming along its bumpy road. The mere fact that we have our children only for a few years would motivate us to make the best out of it. That is why, when we work together, parenting becomes somehow easier.

Review; Parenting by Connecting Approach

The talk with Tanshi2a that took place two weeks ago at Silkor in Abu Dhabi Mall, left the moms with mixed emotions of guilt, accomplishment, difficulty, success, and puzzlement. As Mrs. Anisa Al Sahrif, Conscious Parenting Educator and Social Entrepreneur, discussed a few essential tools that help in building a solid connection with our children, she also provided the audience with real life situations and examples from daily challenges we, as parents, face.

Human beings are characterized by being emotional, and our emotions play a major role in our decisions and actions. In fact, understanding a parent’s emotions is as equally important as understanding that of a child. As per Mrs. Al Sharif, once we comprehend ourselves, we will definitely apprehend our children. Once we work on our sentiments, we are able to grasp our children’s reaction with more ease. Thus, we build an extraordinary connection with them.

As parents and caregivers, we need to learn to accept that crying is a healthy way to process emotions. It allows our children to  let out their frustration and address certain needs – like having you around. A child might cry because of fatigue, hunger, or simply because she misses her parent’s presence. Mrs. Al Sharif adamant statement is that the more love and warmth we provide our child with, the more trust and cooperation we build.

A child’s behaviour, Mrs. Al Sharif, explains is very similar to an iceberg. We tend to see only the tip of it, but we need to learn to look behind it in order to recognize and address the emotion that lies beneath. At the same time, as parents we need to learn to put limits in a way that gives them the space to experiment and make their own mistakes in order to build their personality and resilience.

She continued to explicitly provide the attendees with a set of five main parenting by connection tools that can build that bond:

1. Special Time:

For this tool, Mrs. AlSharif suggests that the parent sets a date every single day with the child. It can be anything between 3 minutes to an hour. Put an alarm to set a boundary, and let the child choose what she wants to do. It could be anything from doing experiments to jumping on the bed. Make sure to provide the child with much warmth and eye contact. She strongly encourages the parent to simply enjoy those moments with the child, promote laughter, and not to give advice.

2. Playlistening:

In this spontaneous tool, Mrs. Al Sharif encourages the parent to follow the laughter and encourage the fun in their relation with their children. The child will always take the lead in these situations with the adult taking the less powerful role. Laughter has an incredible power to heal any hard emotions – exactly like crying. When a child is comfortable to express her feelings, the handling of emotions is achieved. In playlistening, it is advised not to tickle the child in order to leave the feelings of joy and laughter come from within the child. Apparently tickling a child results in having forced emotions which might result in negative consequences later on in life as adults.

3. Setting Limits:

Setting limits with a child is essential for both. It is advised that a parent takes a minute to breathe before interfering with the trouble that is causing the child for having a tantrum or any kind of frenzy outburst.  A parent can learn how to stop off-track behavior with love, warmth, and respect.

4. Staylistening:

Once a child’s needs are understood and listened to, the tension is released and the child can think. At the most challenging times, parents need to listen deeply and attentively. Once the issue is resolved the child can connect and ponder on the behavior that resulted.

5. Listening Partnership:

Parenting is tough, and parents need to be supported. This tool is about processing our own emotions and understanding what triggers us as parents. Having a person who can listen to us, with no judgment and without offering any advice, is a great way that can help us identify and handle our own emotions.

In conclusion, a child’s neural pathways grow through love, respect, eye contact, and listening. All of these result in connection which is vital for parents and children alike.

Thank you Mrs. Al Sharif for this insightful talk which was an eye-opener to most of our attendees.

To learn more about the Parenting by Connecting Approach head over to www.tanshi2a.com or www.handinhandparenting.org

 

PS: More pictures will soon be posted on the thehelicoptermommy Facebook page, so stay tuned.

Iftar At The Palace

With the approach of the holy month, and like every year, the Emirates Palace gives me the pleasure to enjoy its exclusive media sneak preview of its Ramadan Pavilion.

The elegant service and palatial array of dishes ranging from traditional to mouth watering Emirati dishes and desserts left us tantalized with its perfection.

Moreover, the warm welcoming of the staff in general and the management in particular, create a special feeling of being at home while being served in the luxury of the palace and its refined hospitality.

This year the pavilion wore a new traditional design completed with modern touches. Soft traditional music filled the air making people converse properly and at ease. At the same time, sophisticated stands of dates and spices are scattered around evoking Arabian history and heritage.

Excitingly enough, in June 14, the same venue will be transformed into Emirates Palace World Cup Tent where football fans could relax in the cool comfort of the spacious tent during the hotly anticipated games. One would never miss a single moment of the action across the 7 meters by 4 meters humongous LED screens.

Thank you Mr. Cramer and Mr. Alaoui for having me enjoy those eminent moments in the warm niche of the palace.

A Toast to Every First

With her first child, a mom gets to experience every first for the very first time; the first contraction, the first labor encounter, the first overwhelming love, the first sickness, the first solid food trial, the first tooth appearance, the first step taken, the first birthday celebration, the first day of school separation, and the list continues.

With every new first, there is a mix of feelings. Feelings of happiness, and excitement or feelings of uncertainty, fear, and worry. No matter what the circumstances are, these emotions stay unique because they will always be the beginning of a new challenge in motherhood.

Last night, my eldest traveled on his first school trip. For this special event in his life, and in mine, I dedicate these lines for him.

Here is a toast for another first in my life as a mom;

Where did the time go?

You were my baby just a few years ago!

But you have grown very fast,

And those days are now part of our past!

There you are on your first trip alone,

With ease, you move away from my comfort zone!

But my heart is filled with joy

For you my darling, my big boy!

I am so proud of you,

And all the amazing things you will do!

Travel, learn, and enjoy your time,

Escalate any mountain you need to climb!

Explore, examine and rejoice

Let the world hear your voice!

This first school voyage is for you to keep,

Memories of friendships that are genuinely deep!

I love you with all my heart,

I pray for your safety as we part!

Son, have a safe flight,

God’s with you with all His might!

Until we have you back in a week,

I give you endless kisses on every cheek!

Love, Mom

Featured on @innerseed

Thank you @innerseed for featuring me on your website www.innerseeduae.com/mom-blog-in-abu-dhabi where I was able to share, as a mom blogger living in Abu Dhabi, how I have and still support the community.

 

Mom Blog In Abu Dhabi

When we first arrived to Abu Dhabi, thirteen years ago, we were welcomed with warmth, fortune, and peace of mind. I was pregnant then, with my first child, and I thought that we would be staying for just a year before going back to France. Little did I know that we will be blessed with five children along the many facilities that Abu Dhabi provided us with. We always tend to forget that no matter what we plan for, fate simply knows better and leads us towards more suitable goals.

I have spent the first six years as a SAHM (Stay At Home Mom) with my three boys where I used to spend my time engaging them in educational activities, outdoor play, and homemade art. Despite the daily challenges I have faced as a mom, I tried my best to enjoy their presence. Sometimes, I was even criticized by the society for dedicating my life solely for them, especially because as a couple, we barely went out for late social occasions.

At that time, I was satisfied with my daily life, yet at the same time, it was demanding. I used to have many moments where I wished I could just escape the endless burdens of being a mom. I admit that I missed my job, and I longed to go back in order to build my profession as a teacher. However, it was clear that it was not the time for that, yet!

Once the boys started going to school, I got the opportunity to teach there too. Fate was leading me into the right direction, and I took this opportunity with great pleasure. It was tough! Balancing three buoyant boys and work had a toll on me, yet I was mentally content and gratified.

Soon, my social life started to expand and many people started to call me for advice or for some simple information regarding parenting issues. I suddenly became the ‘Go to Person’ to a number of women in the society who were seeking some relief and assistance. I would listen to their worries, calm their fears, and counsel their apprehensions. I did it with pleasure, and it contributed in filling my soul with gratitude and peace. Moreover, it helped me mature and grow out of my boundaries. I slowly started to accept people as they are – with no judgment. In fact, I soon realized that I do not have the right to criticize anyone as long as I still battle with my own flaws, and being perfect is actually absurd!

Three years later, I find out that I was pregnant with twins! We were astounded by the news and felt overwhelmed by the upcoming hefty responsibility. There again, I had to resign from work and get myself physically and psychologically ready to take care of my, all of sudden, big family of 7!

It was then and there that my mother and sister strongly encouraged me to start writing about my experience as a mom of five through blogging. After all, I have always been fascinated with words and the amazing effect they have on me. My blog actually equips me with the weapon I need to address and assist women through the articles I write. Through my words I draw pictures, release my stress, reflect on my worries, and address an audience. Through my words, I reach out to all the women out there, with an empowering message to help them attain a positive attitude and be in peace with themselves whatever their social status is. That was how the journey of thehelicoptermommy started. To support my blog and my ideas, I continue to initiate and plan events that are dedicated for women in general and moms in specific. In all the events, there are always professional speakers who usually engage in talks about women’s health, moms’ mindset, and even in fun activities like baking and cooking. By organizing all these occasions, I am able to support a wider scope of women all over the world and reach out to most of their wishes and needs.

It is remarkable how much I have acquired from the wonderful people I have met and worked with along my blogging experience. With every event I organized or attended, I always come up with a better version of myself, and that by itself is a bliss.

Finally, it is funny how by having a big family myself, my life was put in a better perspective. Despite all the encounters that I have faced, and still confront, I am currently able to manage my daily life, my blog, and my career. I always declare that had I been in any other country, I would not have been able to achieve what I have accomplished so far. I believe that the growth I have reached is reciprocal because by serving the community, I am actually filling my inner seed with love and ardor.

 

Blurb: Rania HUSANT is a working mother of five and an aspiring writer. The link to her blog @thehelicoptermommy can be found on Instagram and Facebook

www.thehelicoptermommy.wordpress.com

 

Photo credit: @nad_naddoun

 

Social Media Exposure

I am sure that many of you have noticed that I do not fully expose my children’s faces on social media. Funnily enough, I even get criticised for not doing so. Generally speaking, people tend to jump into conclusions; they assume that my decision is based on fear of having the evil eye on us!

To be honest, some critics make me smile but thanks to my blogging I would like to share with you the main reasons as why I keep their pictures somehow discreet.

Every time I post something related to them, I ask for their premision. I respect their decision because I totally honor their privacy, and I support their judgement.

I believe that this is one of the ways I am able to teach them about the importance of privacy and agency. I also want them to learn how to deal with social media which starts at home and by setting a midway in everything they do in life. For instance, the elder two boys have just started using What’s App, so my duty as a mom is to set the good example. Otherwise, they would not know what kind of pictures to send and with whom they can share their private information. I am actually making them aware of the dangers of the online world and teaching them how to deal with it with confidence and respect. They need to know that any picture posted online does not belong to them anymore and can be shared/edited/photoshopped in any way. I have already tackled this issue in a previous post which you can read about in the link below:

http://www.thehelicoptermommy.wordpress.com/2015/03/09/stranger-danger-the-online-ghost/?preview=true

We are fortunate to be living in Abu Dhabi, and I thank God every single day that we reside in such a safe place. Still, during my recent years of blogging, I have had two scary incidents due to the fact that I shared our whereabouts on social media.

After all, we don’t actually know what this openiness to the world will lead us to in the future. I would definitely not want my blog to be the reason behind any misfortune.

We need to remember that we never know who in the world is watching us and learning about our every move. Don’t we all teach our children about ‘stranger danger’ in real life? Why would I want to put my children under the observation of any danger caused by a stranger from the virtual world?

Moreover, I have always believed that the idea of following a certain trend does not necessary have to be correct. So if everybody is doing it, then I don’t need to do the same. It is not that I am against anyone or criticising other people’s options. It simply does not suit me to have my family pictures open to the public. Through my words and articles people could actually visualize our lives, and that is what blogging is all about.

Interestingly though, by not having my five being fully exposed on social media, it becomes more difficult for me to find appropriate and authentic photos to share. At the same time, it makes my work unique and fit to my style of living.

Since my feed is genuine and sincere, I felt it essential to highlight these issues and help spread awareness about the online ghost whom we need to keep in mind everytime we post a photo of our precious children.

I would really appreciate your thoughts on that and would love to hear the way you help your children deal with the online world.