My Fourth Son…

It is indeed incredibly amazing how each and every child has a special place in a mom’s heart. When I had my first boy, I thought I could never love any other being as much as I loved him. 

I was wrong!

Soon enough, came our second one, and that love increased doubling with more joy and pride. I could feel my heart swelling up with attachment and affection towards both of them. I was delighted to have given my first boy a lifetime buddy to hang out with, play with, fight with, and do whatever boys do together. Then sooner than expecting, the third one proudly arrived bringing much charm with his captivating smile and easy going character to our family. He quickly formed a special bond with his brothers, and soon they constituted a clan.

What a bless, I would tell myself!
AND I thought it ended there; a satisfied mom of three adorable boys.

Again I was wrong!

As our fourth boy and little girl were born, I was deeply concerned about him being ignored by everyone. After all everybody was waiting for the girl – even us as parents!

I was afraid of failing between them, focusing more on her needs, and losing it with all of the responsibilities I suddenly had. It is true that we have always wished for a girl, but I did not want him to be treated any differently than his brothers or her for the matter.

To ease my worries, I read books and articles related to twins, sibling rivalry, and whatever came across my way. I also had a full supportive team at home where we discussed our worries and concerns. 

However, what really helped me the most was my fourth boy himself.  I will never forget his looks at the age of 32 weeks, only a few days after they were born. Just by looking at him peeking at me through the incubator, I could easily tell that he has come with a unique character, just like the others, and was more than ready to prove himself. It kind of soothed me seeing his determination at a very young stage in his extremely early life.

An independent little fellow who insists on doing things on his own is the main characteristic of our little Mr. R. As I observe him at play, I enjoy his jubilant attitude and carefree spirit. He not only enjoys kisses and cuddles, but asks for them as well whenever he feels like it. I also love his thirst to knowledge and learning where he asks me to work together on different age related activities. I adore his attachment towards his sister and brothers, and his comic side when he enjoys a joke with them. 

It does not really matter if you have an only child or five of them. It does not matter if they are all girls or all boys. It does not matter the order they come in. What matters is the love, the innocence, the purity, and transparency they bring. Our way of reacting to these needs and our approval form the basics of a child’s character in the future. This reminds me of what my dearest grandmother used to tell us, ‘Raise your children with love and affection.’

So how much can a mom’s heart equally love? Well I would say definitely infinite!

On a Bench…

The picture below was taken from my last trip to London at The Rose Garden. I was inspired by the beauty and the mood of the whole setting. Engulfed with these sensations, I wrote the following poem;

On a bench I sat as I shed my tears
Surrounded with sadness and fear.
Unaware of the beauty around me,
With shattered hopes, I couldn’t see!
I was blinded, distracted, and alone
I felt cold to the bone!

By nature, I refuse weakness and defeat
Yet today I broke down at my feet.
I felt tired, drained, and stuck.
I was in a dilemma with no luck…
A soft breeze then brushed my hair and I slowly breathed in the cool air.
A small reminder to what really counts
Life and its difficulties I need to surmount.
In a second, everything could be gone
And the whole world will continue to move on.
Observing the allurement, I turned around
Nature with its beauty and solid ground.
Yellow roses with soft petals hugged me
A comfortable throne they’ve given me.
Bouquets of flowers in full bloom
Perfection of a secret perfume…
My mood suddenly changed
Bringing peace and harmony in exchange.
Mother nature a sanctuary of wisdom
A resort to cheerfulness, to optimism…
So on that bench I sat with a smile on my face
And all that dark sadness I was able to erase!

A Mom’s Kinda Vacation 

“How did you spend the spring vacation?” is the first question people ask on your first day back to work. We usually travel and spend the vacation at my parent’s house or they come over to spend some time together.

Unfortunately, this spring break we could not meet, and I realized that in fact I did not have a break in the real sense of the word!
I mean how could I when I have five to keep entertained and busy for two complete weeks? To add on top of that I have different ages with somehow different interests.
As a result, I found myself juggling between play dates, meeting friends, and arranging activities for them. It was mostly fun and we have really enjoyed those moments, but I haven’t really had the ‘me time’ pause! Those few moments where I wished I could just recharge my batteries to keep going with the same zest and tranquilty.
I somehow took a break from physically going to school very early every morning. However, I had to pass a few nights preparing lesson plans and working on some corrections. Unlike other professions, a teacher brings piles and piles of schoolwork along. You do not just leave your office and forget about all those obligations. That is why as a working mom I had a semi interlude.
On the other hand, we all agree that being a mother is a 24/7 job with no vacations or real downtime unless the grandparents are around – which is exactly what I missed having this Spring.
During this short vacation, I found myself reminiscing over my young age when I had no worries or responsibilities. When I could drink my coffee and enjoy its warmth till the last drop. Or when I used to relish eating my food, savoring the taste of each and every bite. Not to mention sleeping until I got tired of being in bed!
At the same time, having my beloved children around me fills my heart and soul with life. They are my joy and pride. Despite the fatigue and exhaustion motherhood brings, I would not have imagined my days without them.  They are a blessing and I am lucky to be bestowed with such a bliss.
Like every other mother, I would wish to have a break and escape from my duties every once in a while. Nevertheless, once alone I would find myself thinking of them, feeling them, and longing to be with them again. Those never ending ironic notions every mom experiences where she has to balance her sanity and rejoice in being a mom as much as she can.
So how was my kind of vacation? Well it was filled with happy special moments, some arguments, laughter, a passing by sickness, lots of chores, silliness, game playing, partying with the kiddos, homework, and tons of action! Just to mention a few of any other day in a diary of a mom, and to that I am always and forever grateful!
So mommies how was your spring break? 
NB; if you relate in any way to this article please share on your social media to reach out to as many amazing mommies out there.

It Drives me Crazy

It drives me crazy when you take a shower and leave the bathroom soaking with water.

In my mind I would say; “How many times do I need to repeat that you need to close the curtain firmly before you start with your showers?”

But when I look at you and see that you have been too occupied playing with the water that you didn’t even notice the flood you created.

wet floor sign

After all you are still living your playful childhood.

It drives me crazy when you rush into the toilet, have a pee and leave the toilet seat sparkling with a smelly mess.

Even the sign that says; “Please, lift the seat,” and it is right there in front of your eyes doesn’t even remind you of what you need to do.

 

But when I look into your eyes, I can understand that you were in such a rush – you don’t want to miss a second of play with your brothers.

After all you are still enjoying your pleasurable childhood.

It drives me crazy when you wake up the twins because of your loud tones.

“Gosh, they have just slept! When will you talk in low voices?”

silence image

But when I observe you I realize that you can’t relate loud noises to disturbing someone from his sleep.

After all you are still experiencing your booming childhood.

It drives me crazy when I call you saying it is time for showers, and you continue to kick the ball as if nobody is talking to you.

It is because I cannot comprehend that you are so indulged in playing that you didn’t even listen to what I said. You heard me well, but not listened.

After all you are still fulfilling your entertaining childhood.

It drives me crazy when you miss  on writing the correct answer in your quiz even though we made that same exercise at home and you got it right.

 

But if I were with you in class, I could have perceived that you were busy thinking of what games you will play in recess with your friends.

After all you are still dwelling in your busy childhood.

It drives me crazy when I spend nights thinking and planning events for you and when I ask if you have enjoyed it, you focus on what was excluded.

But when I look into your mind, I comprehend that you still don’t know what real appreciation means.

After all you are still encountering your magnificent childhood and at this stage I should not expect you to behave all the time, or to value life, or to abide by the house rules every minute.

I know that one day you will reach those goals, but you are still at the bottom steps of the ladder. And the road is still ahead of you to set your values and flourish …

How can I mature as a parent if you do not provide me with such learning opportunities? And most importantly how can you develop and grow if you do not compose mistakes, learn from them, and pave your life bit by bit?

 

So yes, my beloved sons, experience your beautiful childhood the way you want. Quench its thirst from the rivers of discovery and help me in aiding you to enjoy this journey together. So when you look back, like me, you would say, “I have had the best childhood ever.”