About Life, Parenting, Poems by me

A Poem To Dad

Today, I dedicate a special poem to you my Dad! Because it is too emotional and it reflects a painful truth, I was a bit hesitant about posting it. At the same time, I cannot but honor the man who went out of his way just to make his family live a life where they had everything they asked for. Father’s Day presented me with this occasion where I grabbed my chance to voice his attritubes to the world and simply glorify his presence amongst us!

No matter what life brings along,

To me you are still a hero and strong.

You defy your sickness and disease,

As you’ll always be the one with expertise!

I have always looked up to you with admiration,

You as the leader, back in Badanah station.

Filled with life and goodness,

Served and healed patients with sureness.

Your generosity was devoured by everyone,

From the nearest people and as far as the sun.

Everyone looked up to you –

Some with envy and some with abjure!

Some even took advantage of that,

Though you knew, and forgave with all your heart.

I have always felt proud and fiery,

To have you and call you my daddy…

The distances between us have formed a gap –

Me with my busy life and you stuck in a trap.

It breaks my heart to be far away,

Alas! I wish there was a better way…

Like you, one day we will age too

There is nothing that we could do.

So I feel lost and at dismay

As the months drift away.

This morning I clasped my hands,

And dreamt of far away lands:

Lands of pure Love, Health, and Peace,

A place where we could all just be…

On father’s day I write to you,

Not only to say that I love you,

But to give you strength and conviction,

To brighten your day with glorification.

Parenting

How To Get Dads More Involved?

It is challenging to encourage Dads’ involvement, yet the society these days is working hard towards that goal. Below are a few steps that might help achieve it:

1. The Parents

Mom and dad should have a good relationship. Children need their parents to have a stable and close relationship more than anything. This stability sets the solid foundation to a successful parenting.

2. Ask for Help

Moms please ask your husbands for help. They need guidance and they heavily rely on you to assist them. After all, it is always better when the work is done side by side. Don’t wait for him to ask you as he would not know how tired and frustrated you feel.

3. Fun Activities

Every now and then it is essential that dads go out with the children – on their own – and enjoy some fun activities together. This helps in having the children see their dads in a new perspective which also helps in strengthening the bond between them.

4. Boring Routine

Divide the routine and boring duties, like showering and getting ready to school, where each parent has equal responsibilities. By doing so, both parents are saved from any unnecessary stress.

5. Communication

Discuss and communicate often. Once you agree on a variety of parenting methods, it becomes easier to deal with certain unexpected issues.

6. Gratitude

Show your gratitude for the partnership you have. Humans love to be praised and cared for. A simple thank you makes wonders.

7. One Message from Both

Moms and dads alike should send one message to their children and not opposing ones. Children are very smart and would continue to manipulate one parent against the other in order to get what they want! Once they realise that both parents have the same response, it is more likely they accept the decision taken.

8. Support

Be honest about how you feel towards the whole parenting procedure. It is very normal to have fears and worries. Once you talk about it with your partners, you will get the support you need. Who else would actually understand the situation more than your mate?

Parenting is one of the most beautiful yet challenging experience. It brings so many emotions that are bombarding and overwhelming along its bumpy road. The mere fact that we have our children only for a few years would motivate us to make the best out of it. That is why, when we work together, parenting becomes somehow easier.

events, Parenting, Reviews

Review; Parenting by Connecting Approach

The talk with Tanshi2a that took place two weeks ago at Silkor in Abu Dhabi Mall, left the moms with mixed emotions of guilt, accomplishment, difficulty, success, and puzzlement. As Mrs. Anisa Al Sahrif, Conscious Parenting Educator and Social Entrepreneur, discussed a few essential tools that help in building a solid connection with our children, she also provided the audience with real life situations and examples from daily challenges we, as parents, face.

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Human beings are characterized by being emotional, and our emotions play a major role in our decisions and actions. In fact, understanding a parent’s emotions is as equally important as understanding that of a child. As per Mrs. Al Sharif, once we comprehend ourselves, we will definitely apprehend our children. Once we work on our sentiments, we are able to grasp our children’s reaction with more ease. Thus, we build an extraordinary connection with them.

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As parents and caregivers, we need to learn to accept that crying is a healthy way to process emotions. It allows our children to  let out their frustration and address certain needs – like having you around. A child might cry because of fatigue, hunger, or simply because she misses her parent’s presence. Mrs. Al Sharif adamant statement is that the more love and warmth we provide our child with, the more trust and cooperation we build.

A child’s behaviour, Mrs. Al Sharif, explains is very similar to an iceberg. We tend to see only the tip of it, but we need to learn to look behind it in order to recognize and address the emotion that lies beneath. At the same time, as parents we need to learn to put limits in a way that gives them the space to experiment and make their own mistakes in order to build their personality and resilience.

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She continued to explicitly provide the attendees with a set of five main parenting by connection tools that can build that bond:

  1. Special Time:

For this tool, Mrs. AlSharif suggests that the parent sets a date every single day with the child. It can be anything between 3 minutes to an hour. Put an alarm to set a boundary, and let the child choose what she wants to do. It could be anything from doing experiments to jumping on the bed. Make sure to provide the child with much warmth and eye contact. She strongly encourages the parent to simply enjoy those moments with the child, promote laughter, and not to give advice.

  1. Playlistening:

In this spontaneous tool, Mrs. Al Sharif encourages the parent to follow the laughter and encourage the fun in their relation with their children. The child will always take the lead in these situations with the adult taking the less powerful role. Laughter has an incredible power to heal any hard emotions – exactly like crying. When a child is comfortable to express her feelings, the handling of emotions is achieved. In playlistening, it is advised not to tickle the child in order to leave the feelings of joy and laughter come from within the child. Apparently tickling a child results in having forced emotions which might result in negative consequences later on in life as adults.

  1. Setting Limits:

Setting limits with a child is essential for both. It is advised that a parent takes a minute to breathe before interfering with the trouble that is causing the child for having a tantrum or any kind of frenzy outburst.  A parent can learn how to stop off-track behavior with love, warmth, and respect.

  1. Staylistening:

Once a child’s needs are understood and listened to, the tension is released and the child can think. At the most challenging times, parents need to listen deeply and attentively. Once the issue is resolved the child can connect and ponder on the behavior that resulted.

  1. Listening Partnership:

Parenting is tough, and parents need to be supported. This tool is about processing our own emotions and understanding what triggers us as parents. Having a person who can listen to us, with no judgment and without offering any advice, is a great way that can help us identify and handle our own emotions.

In conclusion, a child’s neural pathways grow through love, respect, eye contact, and listening. All of these result in connection which is vital for parents and children alike.

Thank you Mrs. Al Sharif for this insightful talk which was an eye-opener to most of our attendees.

To learn more about the Parenting by Connecting Approach head over to www.tanshi2a.com or www.handinhandparenting.org

 

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PS: More pictures will soon be posted on the thehelicoptermommy Facebook page, so stay tuned.

Parenting, Poems by me, special occasions

A Toast to Every First

With her first child, a mom gets to experience every first for the very first time; the first contraction, the first labor encounter, the first overwhelming love, the first sickness, the first solid food trial, the first tooth appearance, the first step taken, the first birthday celebration, the first day of school separation, and the list continues.

With every new first, there is a mix of feelings. Feelings of happiness, and excitement or feelings of uncertainty, fear, and worry. No matter what the circumstances are, these emotions stay unique because they will always be the beginning of a new challenge in motherhood.

Last night, my eldest traveled on his first school trip. For this special event in his life, and in mine, I dedicate these lines for him.

Here is a toast for another first in my life as a mom;

Where did the time go?

You were my baby just a few years ago!

But you have grown very fast,

And those days are now part of our past!

There you are on your first trip alone,

With ease, you move away from my comfort zone!

But my heart is filled with joy

For you my darling, my big boy!

I am so proud of you,

And all the amazing things you will do!

Travel, learn, and enjoy your time,

Escalate any mountain you need to climb!

Explore, examine and rejoice

Let the world hear your voice!

This first school voyage is for you to keep,

Memories of friendships that are genuinely deep!

I love you with all my heart,

I pray for your safety as we part!

Son, have a safe flight,

God’s with you with all His might!

Until we have you back in a week,

I give you endless kisses on every cheek!

Love, Mom

About Life, Parenting

Social Media Exposure

I am sure that many of you have noticed that I do not fully expose my children’s faces on social media. Funnily enough, I even get criticised for not doing so. Generally speaking, people tend to jump into conclusions; they assume that my decision is based on fear of having the evil eye on us!

To be honest, some critics make me smile but thanks to my blogging I would like to share with you the main reasons as why I keep their pictures somehow discreet.

Every time I post something related to them, I ask for their premision. I respect their decision because I totally honor their privacy, and I support their judgement.

I believe that this is one of the ways I am able to teach them about the importance of privacy and agency. I also want them to learn how to deal with social media which starts at home and by setting a midway in everything they do in life. For instance, the elder two boys have just started using What’s App, so my duty as a mom is to set the good example. Otherwise, they would not know what kind of pictures to send and with whom they can share their private information. I am actually making them aware of the dangers of the online world and teaching them how to deal with it with confidence and respect. They need to know that any picture posted online does not belong to them anymore and can be shared/edited/photoshopped in any way. I have already tackled this issue in a previous post which you can read about in the link below:

http://www.thehelicoptermommy.wordpress.com/2015/03/09/stranger-danger-the-online-ghost/?preview=true

We are fortunate to be living in Abu Dhabi, and I thank God every single day that we reside in such a safe place. Still, during my recent years of blogging, I have had two scary incidents due to the fact that I shared our whereabouts on social media.

After all, we don’t actually know what this openiness to the world will lead us to in the future. I would definitely not want my blog to be the reason behind any misfortune.

We need to remember that we never know who in the world is watching us and learning about our every move. Don’t we all teach our children about ‘stranger danger’ in real life? Why would I want to put my children under the observation of any danger caused by a stranger from the virtual world?

Moreover, I have always believed that the idea of following a certain trend does not necessary have to be correct. So if everybody is doing it, then I don’t need to do the same. It is not that I am against anyone or criticising other people’s options. It simply does not suit me to have my family pictures open to the public. Through my words and articles people could actually visualize our lives, and that is what blogging is all about.

Interestingly though, by not having my five being fully exposed on social media, it becomes more difficult for me to find appropriate and authentic photos to share. At the same time, it makes my work unique and fit to my style of living.

Since my feed is genuine and sincere, I felt it essential to highlight these issues and help spread awareness about the online ghost whom we need to keep in mind everytime we post a photo of our precious children.

I would really appreciate your thoughts on that and would love to hear the way you help your children deal with the online world.

About Life, Parenting, Poems by me

To Moms of Boys and Girls

Today’s mother’s day post is dedicated to moms of boys and girls alike. Since we need to empower both genders and guide them towards the right direction, it is our duty as mothers to work on building a strong foundation for each. For humanity to survive we need to pass this message over to the coming generations. So here you go;

On mother’s day I address this to you

To moms of boys and girls too.

We need to empower them both

With calmness and maturity throughout their growth.

A mom can teach her son about appreciation and respect

And how women view things in a wide aspect.

She can help him realise and understand,

That a woman is his helping hand.

She can befriend him and make him aware,

That with compassion, understanding and care,

He can build a solid ground –

And true love can be found.

A girl can learn about patience and poise.

To be able to face life and its toils.

From her mother she can attain

Dedication, persistence and overcome any pain.

Along with him she can grow,

And hand in hand they will both glow.

She would share her dreams along

As they dance to their favorite song.

Hand in hand they will empower

Their strengths and stamina to bloom like a flower…

After all one could not do without the other…

Men and women do complete and compliment each other.

So to the dear moms out there,

It is our duty and under our care

That we raise harmony between him and her.

Teach them to accept and analyse,

Not to look at the other with despise.

Have them support each other’s welfare,

In order to maintain a healthy affair

And make their adult life become smoother.

We would also serve the generations that follow,

By raising children who are confident and not shallow.

That is why to really celebrate today,

We should stop and not only pray!

But we need to be present,

And guide them through,

Trust me, there is a lot that we can do…

We need to practice honesty and explain,

How life could be a serious game;

If played well, they will both gain –

And if not, the future would never be the same!

Parenting

A 21st Century Mom

I am a mom of the 21st century. I freely exhibit my rights and call for equality. I put my family as my priority. At the same time, I work, I socialize, and I tend to my children’s activities. Every now and then, I try to exercise as I believe in the importance of maintaining a healthy mind and body. I even participate in a variety of events that are related to my inner and outer growth. I set commitments on my shoulders, and I constrain myself to deadlines. I squeeze in a few moments for myself every few months, where I might just go shopping, hang out with my girlfriends, or even have a spa treatment.

Then, I look at myself and think, “This tired mama needs a break!”

I am a mom of the 21st century. As a teacher I have piles of corrections, proofreading, and planning. I enjoy my classes and I am attached to my students. Even when I am not at school, I carry their responsibilities and successes along with me. I encourage them, meet with their parents, and follow up on their performance. Every year, I make it a point to influence a positive change in them – as much as I can.

Then, I look at myself and think, “This tired mama needs a break!”

I am a mom of the 21st century. I take my children to activities, plan play dates, invite their friends, and prepare food and healthy snacks. I run around jumping in and out of stores. I arrange birthdays, gatherings, and outings, and I find great pleasure in doing so.

I look at myself and think, “This tired mama needs a break!”

I am a mom of the 21st century. I am fascinated by the advanced technology and the facilities we currently have. I find myself attracted to it, mesmerized by its promptness, and indulged in it. I try to set limits of its use and consumption. I also despise having it take control of my life, and I find this challenging and exhausting. I realize how essential its usage is, but I am also aware of the dark world that silently sleeps behind waiting for a chance to strike back.

I look at myself and think, “This tired mama needs a break!”

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I am a mom of the 21st century. I blog about motherhood and the confrontations it brings. I share my humble experience with the world as I believe in cooperation and giving hope to others. By doing so, I work on establishing a better world. I also plan recreational and educational events that help women gain self-realization, reach better accomplishments, and realize great attainments. I reinforce women’s empowerment and guidance because we are the ones who are responsible of steering the coming generations into the right direction.

I look at myself and think, “This tired mama needs a break!”

I am a mom of the 21st century. I choose to undergo a cesarean or have a normal delivery. I have the choice of breastfeeding or providing my child with formula milk, and to that I might be judged. As much as I care about providing my children with nutritious organic food, I always wonder if the products we feed them are actually healthy! The guilt of not knowing what is best for them actually tortures me!

I look at myself and think, “This tired mama needs a break!”

I am a mom of the 21st century. I help my children with their school work. I follow up on their progress. During the day, I try to squeeze in a few minutes for each and every one of them as it is important to be there for them. I try my best to empower them, educate them, and transfer our virtues over to them. I argue with them and dispute with them just to make sure that they will lead the right way as they grow and mature. My heart aches whenever I fail to ease their pain or lessen their worries. Many are the times when I struggle with my late night thoughts that try to impose shame upon my shoulders. I put a lot of effort from my side to set limits to their endless chaotic effect that shakes my inner peace and returns me back to square one in parenting!

Oh my! I look at myself and think, “This tired mama needs a break!”

I am a mom of the 21st century. I travel to different countries and visit new locations. I do a thorough research before visiting a certain site to make sure that after this experience we come out with a new notion and a personal evolution. I pack and unpack. I prepare our luggage knowing exactly what each member of the family needs, and off we go!

I look at myself and think, “This tired mama needs a break.”

I am a mom of the 21st century. I find great pleasure in books, create stories through my words, get lost in museums, and attend plays and art exhibitions. I work hard on transmitting the love of worldwide culture to my children. I strive to make them appreciate civilizations, values, and traditions. I want them to learn to accept others and treat people in a fair way, spreading forgiveness and love to the outside world. I never knew how difficult it is to have children value integrities.

I look at myself and think, “This tired mama needs a break.”

I am a mom of the 21st century. I know what it means to be a single mom since my husband travels a lot. I carry the load of the whole household upon my chest and heart. I try to balance my presence among them during their father’s absence. I pray for more patience and understanding as I silently and eagerly count the days for his return.

I look at myself and think,” This tired mama needs a break!”

I am a mom of the 21st century. From time to time, I take pleasure in going out for drinks, dinners, receptions, and parties. I put effort to dress up, and have my hair, nails, and makeup done. I quickly keep an eye on the latest fashion and I purchase whatever I feel I need to possess. I also participate in any volunteer work trying my best to offer a helping hand to all those who are in need.

Yes, I do look at myself and think,” This tired mama needs a break!”

I am a mom of the 21st century who has put herself under the pressure of being Mrs. Do It All which is the trend of this century. Whether we are working moms or stay at home moms, we are actually loaded with endless duties. Here, I honestly do wonder if it is absolutely normal and acceptable to be overwhelmed and feel that I am always running out of time! And if I were to have that break, which one would it ever be?

If you relate in any way to the above mentioned situations, please do share this post on your social media to help moms who are struggling with their endless duties.

Thank you for your support!