Celebrating my birthday has never been something I would make a huge fuss of. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy celebrating such moments with my dear ones, but I never felt comfortable about being in the spotlight of the ceremony. Moreover, it is not about the fear of growing up or of experiencing what people might refer to as the ‘birthday blues’. Like many of you out there, I have personally experienced drastic changes that suddenly appeared in my body and which I beautifully perceive as both physical and psychological maturity 😉 – be it the white hair strands, the tiny wrinkles, the reduced reading vision or the sagging of flesh which all design the natural extraordinary life cycle!
What might be a main reason for being uncomfortable about celebrating my birthday is that I always feel in awe for the time and effort these wonderful people, whom I am blessed with, put into bringing joy to my years! This is one of my oldest characteristics where I simply love to give to others without wanting anything in return! That is why, it makes me feel embarrassed by taking it all back in! And up till this very moment, I do not know if this is a default or a strength.
In my coaching lessons, we have been talking about the benefits of going out of our comfort zones. This vulnerable stretching helps us dig into our souls and cultivate new dimensions within. I admit, I am someone who enjoys this kind of exposure and maybe it is the reason as to why I embrace change and do not avoid it!
However, and honestly speaking, there are many other things I still need to enhance about myself! One of them is to actually enjoy the ravishment and attention I receive instead of escaping it under sheets of timidness!
I have always believed that age is just a number. At the same time, it brings with it an amazing sense of maturity which has helped me peel off those layers of perfection I have unconsciously wrapped around myself.
In addition, and along the years of growth, I have successfully built my fortress where now I know that I am enough – the way I am with my flaws and imperfections! That by itself is a freedom which my early twenties never offered me!
Maturity has also guided me into observing my inner stamina and into grasping the fact that the way I react to events in my life, leaves a greater impact on me rather than the event itself! I am certain that I will never be able to control the world, but I do have the ability to control my inner world – even if it was accompanied by a sense of apprehension.
On top of that, I have acquired new life skills where I am actually able to sit in calmness with myself. I have succeeded in putting that need of being everywhere and doing everything on hold. I know when to say YES and when to say NO. I even learned how to use my breath as a calming mediator when facing a complicated challenge! And trust me, that by itself has reduced a lot of unnecessary stress and wasted energy.
One of the most forceful skills I have attained is the power of forgiveness! I have come to fully accept the fact that we all do mistakes – intentionally or unintentionally it does not really matter. By forgiving, l have noticed, I am able to let go of my pain, my grievances, my judgement, and give myself the space to heal! By forgiving, I am actually liberating myself from the twisted knots of negativity! It is a process which taught me how to accept what happened and to cleanse it out of my system instead of giving it the opportunity to continue gnawing at me; physically and emotionally.
At this point in my life, and as I continue to build up on my career, I know that I will never master all knowledge and it is always simple and honest to say ‘ I do not have an answer to that! But I could learn about it!’ This is another notion that continues to open up new horizons. We cannot master it all, but we can always continue to grow!
It is true that I have gained a lot and I have surmounted one challenge after the other. However, this does not mean that I have become absolutely fearless and that I have completely stopped myself from worry. I still have and will continue to have such moments.
As a mother in the 21st century, I fear I am not using my time wisely and not being able to express my immense admiration and infinite gratitude to the ones I mostly love. I still fear for my children’s safety in a world unfortunately heading towards creepy insanity. I fear the fact that injustice is still proudly practiced – with no fracture of conscience! Currently, I fear the effect of corona with its ambiguous dark side which has left us in a semi-paralyzed status.
Despite it all, I know that God gives us what we truly need to move on! Life will always present us with bumpy roads to take, but every year will be more insightful and more inspiring than the previous one.
Today, as I turn 42, I know more than ever that I am beyond blessed! I am grateful and I am empowered! That is why, I have decided to enjoy the ride and to make the best out of this given celebration – be it in the real world or the virtual one.
Finally, what really matters is to always look into that inner core of mine, observe what can be enhanced so that every day is a ‘birth’ day which can be re-evaluated next year just like today!
Please do share your thoughts with me below and let me know how you visualize your experience with age? 👇🏼