To welcome 2017 last year, I asked for a limitless year wishing you and myself unlimited experiences with all the meanings the word carries.
I was not aware that hoping for boundless encounters could carry negative consequences with them!
As a matter of fact, 2017 heaved me with measureless emotions. First, I said my final goodbyes to two distinguished grandmothers at the beginning of the year. Then, my compassionate uncle passed away just a few weeks ago.
Throughout the school year, I also had a lot of pressure as I was responsible of organizing major school events and different ceremonies related to the blog. On top of that, I was managing my family on my own due to my hubby’s continuous travels.
So emotionally speaking, throughout the year, I experienced a sense of loss, stress, and doubt. I even encountered that poisonous despairing feeling that would slowly crawl through my veins sucking out my positivity and zest.
However, my inner nature and spiritual soul refuse to comply and be submissive to such a defeat. I would not accept releasing my soul to my invading thoughts. The good news is that once they are controlled I become liberated.
How freeing it is to know that if I do not attend to a thought, answer it, or even identify with it, it literally ceases to exist. It is that simple; I let a thought be nothing, then that is what it will be… nothing.
Once I free myself from those negative thoughts, I overcome whatever sadness, anger, or loss I experience.
That is why, people around see contentment and fulfilment in me as I endlessly fight hard on spreading white wings over the black veil of negativity.
It is not easily done as it is said, but with gratitiude, faith, and trust I believe that ‘this too shall pass’, and other challenges will come along. Through those losses and experiences, I learned a great deal about myself.
That is why, I would not limit myself to a year and label it as my worst or my best. After all, every single day has its own bitter and sweet moments. Some are more aribtary than the others, leaving a person shattered into pieces. However, no matter how difficult the struggle is, a person is forced to gather those pieces back, glue them into a new form, which could be more resilient than before, and just move on. Life, after all, is an accelerating train that waits for no one who does not show up on time at the train station.
I would not speculate what 2018 has for me or for my dear ones. By human nature we all wish for the best praying for harmony, health, and peace of mind. We pray for such attributes because they give us comfort and hope. They provide us with a sheltered reason to simply move on. Oh how I wish life was that simple! We would have been in heaven ages ago.
It would serve me no good if I ponder upon the past or worry about the future. It would not ease my pain or heal my inner wounds if I kept myself trapped in yesterday!
All I know and try to do is live and love that given moment, and continue to be grateful for the many blessings I am bestowed with.
From the 2017 experiences, I graduated with a new notion; the more Love I give to the outside world, the more peaceful I feel in my inner terrene!
So for 2018, I pray for Love!