Going back to school this year was peculiar. Not only I returned to my professional career as an Elementary School teacher, but my twins started nursery as well.
As the summer days slowly approached the end of the vacation, the heaviness in my chest tightened. I had crazy thoughts piercing into my mind bleeding my heart with worries. I felt overwhelmed with all the duties I have added up onto my plate. But I mainly dreaded the separation of the twins from me and mostly from each other. That bitter separation which I have experienced before and knew too well. I will never forget the day I left the hospital three days after delivery leaving my treasured twins alone in the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit) I still remember how my postpartum body slowly and painfully moved towards the hospital’s sliding doors with empty hands and a lump in my throat.
I admit I was worried about the whole back to school situation. Anxiousness engulfed me with questions popping abruptly into my mind; how will they react as they see me go, leaving them with a complete stranger? What kind of impact does this separation have on them? How will they manage their stress? Unlike the first time, when they were in the hospital, here they are both aware of what is happening. To add to my apprehension, my eldest son is also moving to a new stage in his life. Despite my pride and joy that he started Middle School, I couldn’t help but wonder about him growing and moving into adolescence with all its effects on his personality, character, and growth. Similarly my other two boys are also growing and diverting into new junctures in their lives.
It is unbelievable how time flies. They were just born yesterday. Each and every one of them has his and her own unique moments. That second when I heard them cry for the first time. When I first held them close to my heart, and inhaled their perfection into my soul.
Nevertheless, once school started a week ago, I set my worries aside and managed to control that malice which was throbbing heavily in my veins. I decided to live the present with them. I casted my fears aside and I focused on the moment given. Naturally, with such a decision in mind things come into place, just like a puzzle!
The twins’ teachers turned out to be caring, loving, and supportive. Whereas the boys’ teachers are passionate about their work, well focused on the children’s needs, and up to date with the material given. What else could I ask for!
Last but not least, being back in my class as I tutor, aid, discuss, and guide my students is a rewarding experience by all means. That feeling of being overwhelmed disappeared into thin air , just like sand, making room for creativity, pleasure, and happiness.
I concluded once again that a person cannot ponder on the past. After all it has passed, it finished! And of course one cannot speculate the future as it gives nothing but uncertainties and heaviness.
For this school year, I promised myself to enjoy all those challenges. Take them, dissect them, and learn from them. That is how I will help not only my own growth but my children’s development as well.
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