When I first started my blog, many people asked why I chose such a title, taking only the negative side of the word “helicopter parents”. And I say parents here, because Dads, like moms, play an essential role in parenting. By definition “A helicopter parent (also called a cosseting parent or simply a cosseter) is a parent who pays extremely close attention to a child’s or children’s experiences and problems, particularly at educational institutions. Helicopter parents are so named because, like helicopters, they hover overhead.”
In fact, helicopter parents are not those who strangle their children with their care. They simply pay close attention to their needs, and there is a very thin line between hovering over our children in a positive or in a negative way, which is the challenge of all super parents out there.
There are red lines and boundaries which I simply cannot allow my children to cross. After all, I want them to be honest, well behaved, respectful, and well rounded social beings characterized by confidence, contentment, and high self-esteem. Though these goals seem to be easy written down and said, applying successful strategies to reach them, needs a lot of hard work, patience, persistence, and determination. In addition, the ironic part of all this, is the fact that you get the results of parenting after 20 years. If we succeed, then we have attained the bliss we have worked for all those years!
If we do not set limits to our children, then who will? My mother used to tell me that children need to hear their parents use the word “No” in many situations. Otherwise, how can they understand what is wrong and what is right? In fact, the word “No”, of course when used properly, gives them the sense of security they seek. They will understand that their parents do care for their well-being.
So am I being too pushy on my kids when I want them to learn how to be responsible? Am I being overprotective when I do not allow them to have a sleep over at a friend’s house? Am I being too firm when I do not give them soft drinks along with their lunch? Am I being too mean if I restrict the time when they play on the Ipad or the Wii?
I do not know if being extra careful, especially at our times, means that we are not giving our kids the freedom to explore on their own and learn about being independent without guidance. And what is it The Freedom people aim and seek nowadays? Is allowing our children do whatever pleases them, like singing while having dinner, answering back, lying etc. etc. correct and modern?
The secret behind setting those rules, as I mentioned earlier, is to find the effective strategies to reach them. Play, quality time, honesty, closeness, understanding, patience etc. form the basis, and soon these children will flourish.
In the hope that by hovering over my children like a helicopter, in the present time, will result in a fruitful future for each one of them, I will continue to be the mom I am now.
The second reason why I thought of adopting this name is because of the simile I found between a helicopter and a multitasking mom, like me, who has so many duties turning in her head. She is the mom, the teacher, the educator, the counsellor, the driver, the cook, the party organizer, the friend, the artist, the story teller etc.
When the propellers of a helicopter start to turn, you feel there are millions of them spinning and rotating just like a mom’s thoughts which are turning and twisting in her mind with a super speed.
As I move on with my journey, I know I have many new and tough challenges to face. There is always a choice of dropping out and missing on what I can learn from these challenges, or grasping any new opportunity that will open new horizons. Aren’t we, after all, in the process of acquiring new lessons every day in our lives?
Finally, I want to thank you dear readers, likers, and followers because of you I have a voice that can be heard, an idea that can be shared, and an experience that can be attained. I hope my writings are of help for you as well.
P.S: First two images are taken from Pinterest. The image of the helicopter was made by my cousin.